vexarion: ifyoucarryonthisway: i need a job where i work one hour a week and i get paid a thousand dollars a minute
sperminallycapitalist: thesickestjokes: “A vodka, please.” “Erm, this is McDonald’s.” “OK, a McVodka, please.
tanakas: the school year is almost over
the-adequate-gatsby: It’s 3 am You hear a noise in your kitchen You go to investigate It’s me sitting at your table I ask you to sit down “I want to know why you though that comment on my post was necessary.”
skittlesndrpepper: craigmothertucker: so my 16 year old brother made himself a balloon son and kept a photo album of their day together here it is Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you my boyfriend and his outstanding level of maturity.
roughrimjob: I feel really shitty and useless but at the same time I’m still perfect and better than anyone
Sherlock: I don't have friends.
Merlin: All my friends are dead.
Doctor Who: All my friends are dead.
Supernatural: All my friends are dead.
Hannibal: I want to eat all my friends.
jaaaaaaaaaackfrost: sweaters that are several sizes too big wearing sweaters that are several sizes too big whacking people in the face with the sleeves
morristibbs: GOD I GOT DRUNK LAST NIGHT AND I WAS POSTING ON THE DAD EGBERT FACEBOOK AND THREE OF THE PEOPLE I RP WITH STARTED MESSAGING ME I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO I WAS TALKING TO IN THAT LAST ONE
playbunny: growing attached to people but not wanting to be that clingy friend
peregr1ne: my mom is trying to pick a colour for her new wheelchair and me and my dad are telling her to get black and she’s just like “but how will I know if someone is stealing it” and my dad is just like “because you’ll be sitting on the floor” and she slapped him
hungarian: do moms diss each other with “ur son” jokes